The Yellowstone Tourist IQ Test

We have been discussing opening Yellowstone just a little bit as we try to find our way out of COVID-19, then some woman illegally enters and falls into a thermal.

Please don't misunderstand, I wish the poor woman well and hope she recovers quickly. But if this is what happens when just one person is alone in the park, what happens when we open the gates to tourists?

There are those from other states that think the people from this part of the country are just a bunch of stupid rubes. But then they come here for a quick visit and the first thing they try to do is hug a bison, or put their face is a geyser.

Honestly, I'm beginning to think that maybe we should make tourists pass an IQ test before we allow them to enter the park.

Welcome to Yellowstone! We have just two questions before we can allow you to enter. This will only take a moment and it is for your own safety.

1) When you see hot water, in any form, coming up under the ground, you should:

A) Put your face in it.

B) Stay on marked trails and boardwalks.

2) When you see cute fuzzy animals of any size you should:

A) Go give it a hug and get a selfie.

B) Stay very very very very very very far away. Very far. I mean like, stupid far, because you are stupid if you don't.

If you answered "A" to any of these questions, you'll have to turn around and leave. Sorry. Not to worry, there are many other things to see in Wyoming that are quite safe. Please enjoy our great state!

Wyoming is truly one of the most beautiful states in America. We love the fact that so may people want to come here and explore.

To help drive the point home, below is the best message ever recorded about Yellowstone safety: