Wyoming Bears Angry That Humans Can Now Hunt Back [SATIRE]
The above photo is from the actual debate between a Wyoming bear and a representative from Wyoming Game and Fish.
Wyoming has approved its first hunt of grizzly bears in 44 years. The new rules will allow up to 22 grizzlies to be killed in a wide area east and south of Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks. The hunt will occur this fall.
The bears are not happy.
For the past 44 years, bears have been allowed to hunt humans (see story), mainly tourist, any time they wished. It was open season. But now, humans will be allowed to hunt back. This changes the balance of power.
"You humans hunt animals to keep the population down," says Victor, a massive Wyoming Grizzly from Teton Park. "Have you seen how many humans come here in the summer? This place is packed. Last year over 4 and a quarter million humans visited Yellowstone alone."
"Letting us bears have a swipe at a few just makes sense. It's population control. It also discourages more humans from visiting the area which we, in the animal kingdom, see as nothing but good."
"But let's get a couple hundred bears and we have to bring that number down? That's not right."
Wyoming Game and Fish is not backing down.
"Letting the humans hunt back keeps them bears in line," said Walter Knobs from the game department. "It lets them know they do not own the wilderness. They will never know if the person they are stalking is really stalking them. It will restore balance to nature for sure."
The idea seems like a good one for now. Unless the bears figure out how to use a gun. Then, it will be war.