Meteorologist Don Day Sees His Shadow [SATIRE]
How is Punxsutawney Phil an expert in the weather? Lander Wyoming has Lander Lil, a cute little prairie dog that does no better at predicting than Phil.
Why is anyone looking for the opinion of some underground dwelling varmint when they can watch to see what an actual meteorologist will do?
Each winter, at the beginning of February, all eyes are on the dwelling of trusted regional meteorologist Don Day of Day Weather.
Folks hide in and behind their cars, even behind snow drifts and bushes, waiting to see what Don will do. Local and regional news teams stand by. But no one dare step out into the open, for fear of spooking Mr. Day.
The winter of 2019/2020 has been more windy and cold than most Wyomingites care to tolerate. Though you won't hear them complain about it. Not in public anyway.
Early morning, February 2nd. The sound of ice cracking as the front door to Don's house causes nervous excitement. "Shhh" could be heard from one Wyomingite who was hiding under a truck. "Here he comes."
This year, Mr. Day's head was a bit slower to lean outside than in previous years. Finally his shoulder could be seen leaning outside.
"Mmmf," was the first noise he made. Not a good sign. "Screw this."
With that he pulled his head back inside and the door slammed shut.
"Well dang it all. Someone yelled from behind a snow drift. Six More Weeks Of SUCK."
True story, I swear.