Tips For Surviving An Animal Attack (That Probably Won’t Work)
I live in Wyoming where every year some people prove that not all humans are smarter than animals.
In most cases, if I am writing on this topic, I like to pick on tourists.
Not only do they get themselves in more trouble with wildlife in Wyoming, but they also don't live here, so they probably haven't even read what I have written about them.
Wyoming residents probably have read what I have written- if I insult them there is the risk of running into them at the grocery store.
Having said all of this, here are several hints on how to NOT get eaten by a by wildlife in Wyoming, no matter who you are:
1). Always travel with a slower friend. Just don't let that friend know that you know they are slower than you.
2). Take a bath in ammonia or cider vinegar. They also hate the smell of Lysol and Pine-Sol. But if you try these methods you need to understand that no one else will want to be around you either.
3). Travel with a friend who smells better than you. That way the animal will chase them, not you.
4). Dumb tourist are easy to spot. Make sure a group of them are up ahead of you on the trail.
5). Carry plenty of snacks. If you need to run drop the snack behind you, one at a time, each time the animal is in striking distance.
These ideas of mine are horrible and will not work. But, let's face it, if you were in this situation I doubt you would come up with anything any better.
I really have no idea if any of these ideas will work. All I know is I'm now walking in the woods with you if I think you're faster than me.