Wyoming Tranquilizes And Tags Migrating Tourist [SATIRE]

Each year, the state of Wyoming puts a lot of time, effort, and money into tranquilizing, measuring, weighing, and tagging migrating animals. It's quite a task, but the state is interested in many different things such as migration, eating, and mating habits.

The same sort of tracking that is done during elk season is done during tourist season. The only difference is that, up until now, Wyoming only tracked tourist through their spending habits. But, that's about to change.

According to a recent memo released from the Wyoming Department Of Tourism, which is just like the Wyoming Department Of Game And Fish but with humans, the Department Of Tourism will now begin tranquilizing, weighing, measuring and tagging tourist as they enter the state.

The goal is the same. What are the migration habits of Wyoming tourists? What do they prefer to eat, and yes, mating habits. This information will be shared with other states, since many large bands of tourist tend to move thousands of miles in the summer and winter months.

"We have noticed that in the past few years, these migrating tourists have been getting fatter," said Nathan Smith of the Wyoming Department Of Tourism. "They don't move around as much as they used to. In the past, tourist came and hiked and fished and such stuff. Now, they just sit in lawn chairs and make high pitched whining noises. We are still trying to figure it out."

So, if you see a tourist with a tag hanging from its ear or a rather heavy looking tracking color around its neck, please do not approach and please do not feed it. The Department of Tourism would like to observe them in their natural state.