Wyoming Ice Fisherman Excited To Ditch Family [SATIRE]
Peter Vanderblunt has been waiting for this moment since spring. The first sign of actual cold weather in November of 2017 will not be enough to freeze over any lakes in Wyoming, but the time draws near.
"First men went to the local bar," said Peter. "But the women followed us there. Overthrowing the no women allowed policy they quickly burst in and hung drapes, installed a jukebox and opened a dance floor. They wanted to sit and talk. Did they not realize these are all the things we were trying to get away from?"
Peter let out a heavy sigh and continued.
"We went to the barbershop. They would not want haircuts like ours, we thought. But they followed again. Now it's a salon."
"We went to the woods to hunt. Sure we know there is plenty of meat at the grocery store. Hunting is a lot of work for a little food. But, we thought, why would they follow? They hate guns and blood. They don't want to see Bambi shot right in front of them. But again they followed. Pink camouflage guns. The animals can smell that perfume you know. Cell phones beeping and bleeping. Hunting is about sitting quietly in the woods. Why can't they shut up?"
"Ice fishing. It has been the only place they will not follow. Do you really think a man wants to sit in minus 10 degrees staring at a hole? We need some alone time, for the love of heaven, woman!"
We decided to wrap this interview up as Peter's wife entered the room. She had been shopping. She had a brand new fishing pole, and an expensive winter coat. The poor man began to sob as she mentioned bringing the kids.