What Wyomingites Should Do When Yellowstone Finally Blows
Since there has been some unusual activity at the site in the past few months we should probably all start making plans. So here is what we will all have to do when Yellowstone finally pops that cork.
Lets just get that out of the way. We are all going to die.
Having stated the obvious we can now get into the finer details. This all depends on how close you are to Yellowstone when it finally does go boom.
Ground Zero: Never mind. You won't need to worry about making any plans.
20 Miles Away: Just enough time to utter a quick expletive before you are fried like a corn-dog on a stick. It does not matter what word you choose just say it with passion.
50 Miles Away: Did you have anything you wanted to say to that person standing next to you. Better get it out in one sentence. No time to think about it.
100 Miles Away: You have just enough time to enjoy the explosion. It should be quite a sight. Soak it in.
200 Miles Away: You have just enough time to inform those around you that they should look. You might have a moment to throw a few expletives into what should be a colorful description of why everyone needs to turn around.
300 Miles Away: Wyoming is not a perfect square due to the curvature of the earth. From East to West the state is 365 miles across at its southern end and 342 miles across at its northern end. Either way you are getting near the edge. You have just enough time to get right with God!
For those who live in the South East side of the state, down around Cheyenne, you have just enough time to get right with God and suggest that the person next to you do the same. That final suggestion might just win favor with God since it shows that you are not just thinking of yourself. God likes stuff like that.
After that - DIE!