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Wyoming Game & Fish Talk With Bears About Tourists [SATIRE]

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We’ve heard far too many stories about ignorant tourist coming across a bear in the Wyoming wilderness, with tragic endings. The latest attempt to educate the public comes from the Wyoming Game & Fish Department as they distribute free bear spray to those venturing into the woods.

Despite their best efforts state officials just can’t seem to stop folks from trying to hug, pet, or get a selfie with these big vicious beasts.

“Well, if talking until we are blue in the face isn’t working,” explains Nate Folgermyer of Wyoming Game & Fish, “why not try educating the bears? What is there to lose?”

Sitting down with bears in Yellowstone and chatting with them about why and how to avoid tourist is not easy. A bear’s attention span is short. “Sure beats the hell out of trying to talk to tourists,” explains Nate. “Sure, it’s dangerous as hell. To date, three game wardens and died trying to have a sit down with the bears. It’s still easier than talking to tourist.”

Despite the dangers, Wyoming game wardens are still volunteering to educate bears on the dangers of out of state visitors. When asked if they would rather talk to tourist to being mauled by a bear, the choice seems to be an easy one.

Wyoming Game & Fish had tried handing out “Tourist Spray” to the bears, but there is that little problem with the opposable thumb that makes using it rather difficult.

If the program to educate bears is not successful, Wyoming Game & Fish plans to offer more hunting tags when they open tourist season.

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