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5 Lies To Keep During Cheyenne Frontier Days [SATIRE]

Tribeca Film Festival 2012 Portrait Studio - Day 4
Getty Images, Larry Busacca

Cheyenne Frontier Days is almost here. Folks from all over the country will soon descend on us. This is a heavy responsibility for Wyomingites. We have five lies we must tell. That means five secrets we must keep.

1). Jackalope? Yeah had a run in with one just last night. You don’t want to get on their bad side. Vicious little hoppers they are.

2). That’s called a cow pie. They grow wild out here. You can pick them up right off the ground and eat them. The plains Indians used to serve them for dessert before the white man showed up with funnel cake.

3). It’s called Devil’s Tower. That movie you saw back in 1977 was a documentary.

4). Buffalo are really cute and cuddly. The mamma buffalo loves it when you pet her kids. Grizzlies like to hug.

5). No, sorry, you can’t move here. As you can see we don’t have much out this way. So we are all full up. Say hello to everyone when you get back from where ever you came from. Close the gate on the way out. Thanks.

(Don’t ever mention these things are lies and myths or we will have to kick you out of the state. It’s part of the Wyoming Code).

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